Posts Tagged Bad Days
March 13th – Travel Is An Adventure
I have never been so glad to be in an airport. The fast pace of this trip has worn be down and I can’t wait to get home. My coworkers and I spent every night in one bar or another. Between the smoke and alcohol I am sure I set myself back a few weeks. I am upset that I put myself in a situation where I was making unhealthy choices to be part of “the team”. While there were no drugs involved, the circumstances were much the same. Making bad choices to be “cool” is a pattern of behavior that scares the heck out of me. I know better and will definitely find a way to opt out of future bonding experiences without seeming like not part of the team. I think that I am going to just be honest and tell them I enjoy being part of the team but that isn’t my lifestyle.
On another note, I left my phone back at the hotel so please do not be alarmed if you have trouble getting in touch with me. The hotel is sending the phone express and I promise to answer all voice mails and text messages as soon as my phone arrives.
To compound my frustration, I just found out my flight has been delayed so I am going to miss my connecting flight. I trying to re-book the flight but it looks like I will stuck in Denver. Travel is always and adventure.
March 13, 2010
March 10th – Hello from Detroit
My flight in was interesting. I ended up flying from Medford to San Francisco to Phoenix to Detroit. Yes I flew West and then South to get North. As my plane descended through the clouds I was surprised at the vastness of Detroit and it’s surrounding suburbs. The city lights seemed to go on forever and were only broken by snow and small iced over lakes.
My first night in was also interesting. We went out for a team-building, male bonding, drinking binge. To say that I don’t drink is an understatement so, for me, it wasn’t much fun. I did, however, end up drinking enough that I woke up feeling awful this morning. I spent most of the day tired and recovering from last night. I made it to the hotel gym after work today and the run was just about as expected. I started out with a mile at 6mph and then ran two minute intervals for another mile, walked for a bit, and then finished with an 8.5mph sprint to the finish. It hurt the entire time but that’s what I get for going out drinking on a Tuesday night.
March 10, 2010
February 5th – Surprising Run
I had a surprising run yesterday. All of the treadmills were in use so I started things off a little differently than usual, with a weight workout. I had a good workout and was feeling pretty good by the time I started running. This time, I started with a pop station thinking it would make me feel younger. I was able to make it about a half mile before accepting the fact that I am truly retro and switching the station. The next half mile wasn’t bad but I completely ran out of steam as I reached the one mile point. I was able to finish the three miles by running intervals but overall it was an awful run. I left the treadmill exhausted and surprised. With the previous day off, I expected a fairly easy run. Hopefully, after some weekend rest, next week will be more fun.
February 5, 2010
January 29th – Broke Through Three Miles!
I am happy to report that I am back to running three miles non-stop. I know that doesn’t seem like a lot but, for some reason, it has been difficult for me to get back to this point. For me, three miles is a tipping point for my fitness level. In the past, I have always been able to build mileage quickly once I breach the three-mile cap.
My plan was to run a little faster and run 2.5 miles,just a little further and faster than last time. Things started as planned but I was only able to run a mile at 6mph for a mile before slowing down to 5mph. I alternated between 5mph and 5.5 for the next mile and then alternated between 5mph and 6mph for the remaining half mile. At the 2.5 mile point, I felt pretty good so I decided to keep going and was able to finish the last half mile at 7mph. I left the treadmill both exhausted and excited for the future. I can’t wait to run after work today!
On a more negative note. I had a discussion with my boss this afternoon. He disclosed that he knew about this blog and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I told him that I was previously a meth addict and told him a bit about the blog. As I have written in the past, my boss is a great guy and very supportive but it was an embarrassing experience. I am afraid this will change things. I am not worried about returning to drugs. What worries me is having my new friends look at me like I am a meth addict. I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m worried about my boss thinking I am high if I am excited, or I got high last night if I call in sick. Unfortunately, knowing about my past will give him reason to doubt me even if I give him no other, it’s just human nature. I am both sad and nervous about this development but I am going to try to be positive.
2 comments January 29, 2010
January 28th – Took A Little Break
I had an awful day at work yesterday. It was one of those days where I was under a deadline and nothing went as planned. I ended up leaving a little early, very frustrated, with the plan to run outside on the Bear Creek Greenway. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out either. I was starving when I left work so I cooked something when I arrived home so it would be ready after my run. Good plan but I took too much time. When I finished cooking, it was already getting dark so I decided to just eat and run in the morning. Another good plan but that didn’t work out either. I woke up with plenty of time to run this morning but I opted to stay in my warm bed instead of venturing out in the cold to run. As a result, I am frustrated with myself this morning and I can’t wait to redeem myself with a three-mile run after work.
January 28, 2010
December 18th – Unrealistic Goals And Old Friends
It’s now been two days since I’ve been to the gym and I am feeling pretty bad. I tend to get these great big plans. Instead of saying “I am going to go to the gym at least three days a week.” I say things like “I am going to the gym every day, every week, forever!” Now, there’s nothing wrong with big goals but the problem with my big goals is that I tend to get pretty down on myself when I come up short. I’ve now missed two workouts and I am downright mad at myself for it. Usually at this point I just scrap the whole thing because it didn’t work but this time I am going to try something new. This time I am going to take it in stride. I am going to accept the fact that life happens and the real, overall, goal is to live a healthy lifestyle which is more about making healthy choices on a continual basis.
The dinner last night was interesting. It was great seeing my family and the spaghetti was awesome. The interesting part was that I ran into some of my old friends after the dinner. It was a bit awkward. Mostly because I felt a little bad about just not talking to them in a while. I feel bad because they would be my friends whether or not I was using drugs but I was only their friend when I was on drugs. It’s not that I was using them or that I don’t think they are good people. It’s simply that I can’t be around the lifestyle. The simple fact is that if I avoid anyone who is involved with drugs I have no opportunity to do drugs. I am not blaming my old friends for my drug use. I am not saying that I am too weak to say no. I am saying that I am going to avoid the opportunity just in case. The stakes are way to high to take any chances. The hard part is that these friends really are good people, I really do care about them, and really do miss them greatly. It was hard to see them leave and not go with them but I’ve learned that living a healthy lifestyle is about making the hard choices and standing by them. Today, I am very thankful for my healthy and supportive friends and family. I realized last night how hard this would be without you. Thank You.
3 comments December 18, 2009
December 2nd – Can’t Breathe
I didn’t go to the gym yesterday. My cold has been steadily worsening over the past couple of days and today I just can’t breathe. I am getting really mad. It seems like every time I make any progress I get sick and am thrown back to square one. I am sick of being sick all the time. I am going to take a serious look at my diet and lifestyle. I have to be doing something wrong. I am thinking more veggies and less junk.
I had a chance to talk to one of my kids yesterday. My oldest daughter called me around 5pm last night to catch up. She was excited to talk to me and wanted to see me but she didn’t know what the new rules were. I talked to her for a bit and reassured her that everything was going to be fine. I didn’t get to talk to my youngest kid. She was playing video games and didn’t really want to talk. I am pretty sure it had more to do with the video games than her being mad at me so I am not too worried.
I am working from home I am going to walk to the store and get some lozenges. I am thinking the walk in the cold, moist air will do me some good.
3 comments December 2, 2009
November 23rd – No Rest
I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I tossed, I turned, I flipped, I flopped, and finally fell asleep around 4am. My alarm went off at 6:30 and I turned it off. I am exhausted this morning and don’t really want to be at work. I can’t wait to hit the gym after work!
November 23, 2009
November 22nd – My Big Mouth
I had an awesome day today. I spent the day with my girls and a really good friend of mine (and her kids). We didn’t really do anything big. We tried to see the new Twilight movie a couple of times but it was completely sold out. Instead we did a lot of window shopping. My friend has been spending most of her free time lately doing homework or housework or just plain work and this was her first real day out in a while. That being the case, we spent the day doing what she likes to do, shop. I had a great time hanging out with everyone.
I dropped my girls off at the end of the day and then about an hour later I received a call from their mom. She was quite upset and from her message I learned that I was “Talking Sh*t” about her family, she was done with me, and I could no longer see her girls. At first I was very upset. Mostly scared and feeling a bit foolish. Earlier in the day we were joking and I did say something about their Grandma (my ex mother in law) being a bit “ghetto”. I didn’t realize it when I was saying it but I was way out of line. I wasn’t trying to bash my ex’s mom but it still shouldn’t have been said. I am not really sure what to do at this point. I tried to call back a couple of times and apologize but she didn’t answer and I didn’t feel it was the best idea to apologize to her voice mail. My usual operating procedure in a situation like this is to resolve it head on but I think this time I am going to handle this a bit differently. My ex is mad right now and it is understandable. I want to apologize but she has every right to not want to hear it right now so I am going to wait. The truth is that she can’t keep me away from my kids. My girls are old enough to know what’s going on so they are not going to be alright with not seeing their father and they are not going to think I just ditched them. I think it’s best to give it some time, try to call in a couple of days to apologize, and see where we stand. Worst case I will have to dust off my custody agreement and figure out how in the world to enforce it. I really hope it doesn’t come down to that. Mainly I just want her to know that I am sorry and know I was out of line. I didn’t mean to be hurtful. I really need to learn to filter what I say, especially when my kids are around. I feel like a total jerk.
I am going to take a walk to calm my nerves and then I am going to bed. My plan is to get to bed early, wake up early, and hit the gym before work.
2 comments November 22, 2009
November 11th – Foul Weather / Foul Mood
Do you ever have one of those days? One of those days where everything just seems a little off. I don’t know if it’s the weather or season or what but I have been in a bad mood all day. I didn’t run this morning. I don’t have an excuse. I woke up in plenty of time and it wasn’t even raining but I just didn’t feel like going. I didn’t have to go into the office today, instead I worked from my favorite coffee shop. I really like the flexibility I have at work. I believe the reason for my foul mood is my lack of running. I miss being able to fit in a lunchtime run. Since my move to Central Point, I can’t seem to get in a good run. Now that the weather has turned wet and cold, it’s really hard to get out there. I am going to head over to the local gym right now and check it out.
November 11, 2009
