Running From Addiction

I had an awesome day today.  I spent the day with my girls and a really good friend of mine (and her kids).  We didn’t really do anything big.  We tried to see the new Twilight movie a couple of times but it was completely sold out.  Instead we did a lot of window shopping.  My friend has been spending most of her free time lately doing homework or housework or just plain work and this was her first real day out in a while.  That being the case, we spent the day doing what she likes to do, shop.  I had a great time hanging out with everyone.

I dropped my girls off at the end of the day and then about an hour later I received a call from their mom.  She was quite upset and from her message I learned that I was “Talking Sh*t” about her family, she was done with me, and I could no longer see her girls.  At first I was very upset.  Mostly scared and feeling a bit foolish.   Earlier in the day we were joking and I did say something about their Grandma (my ex mother in law)  being a bit “ghetto”.   I didn’t realize it when I was saying it but I was way out of line.  I wasn’t trying to bash my ex’s mom but it still shouldn’t have been said.   I am not really sure what to do at this point.  I tried to call back a couple of times and apologize but she didn’t answer and I didn’t feel it was the best idea to apologize to her voice mail.   My usual operating procedure in a situation like this is to resolve it head on but I think this time I am going to handle this a bit differently.  My ex is mad right now and it is understandable.  I want to apologize but she has every right to not want to hear it right now so I am going to wait.  The truth is that she can’t keep me away from my kids.  My girls are old enough to know what’s going on so they are not going to be alright with not seeing their father and they are not going to think I just ditched them.   I think it’s best to give it some time, try to call in a couple of days to apologize, and see where we stand.  Worst case I will have to dust off my custody agreement and figure out how in the world to enforce it.  I really hope it doesn’t come down to that.   Mainly I just want her to know that I am sorry and know I was out of line.  I didn’t mean to be hurtful.  I really need to learn to filter what I say, especially when my kids are around.  I feel like a total jerk.

I am going to take a walk to calm my nerves and then I am going to bed.  My plan is to get to bed early, wake up early, and hit the gym before work.